norani II

Not to say that all the views are false. We have lovely and beautiful flowers when spring comes. Roses and tulips in the botanical garden are so0o0o damn gorgeous. Sadly no snow in Wellington. Huhu.. can’t walk in the snow. Can’t look the snow falling down through my bedroom window. Sometimes I wonder how it feels to have snow here. I went to mount ruapehu last winter. skiing. Not as easy as I saw on terebi. can’t control my feet and kept falling down. Ahahaha.. saket pungkok.

Anywayss.. the most challenging thing as an overseas student is that i have to be strong, every single day. Mentally and physically I should say. Physical is nothing about running here and there, doing heavy work, struggling to find a job to feed my stomach, etc. it’s so0o0o not that. I mean physical as in stay healthy. No cold, no flu, no infection. Nothing but healthy. medical treatment can cause u a fortune. Huhu..

Mentally strong? Being away from family is very hard for me. I’ve been to boarding school before. But it is not the same as that. I can go home at least once a month. Here, I should be grateful for having the chance to go home once a year.

Sometimes i feel that i am all alone, even when i have good friends around me. It is always not easy to cope with emotion. i feel like wanna cry out loud, feel like wanna go home at that very moment (if only pintu suke hati is available), feel like to give up everything that i have reached so far.. you know that kind of feeling.

Yet i can’t simply quit. There is a big responsibility on my shoulder. i have contract with my sponsor. i carry my family name. i carry my future. Giving up will only destroy everything.

Tired? I am. Tired to be strong when I am not. Tired to stay calm when only Allah knows the feeling inside. Tired of the never-ending assignments. Tired of competing with the time. Tired to be brave every time the exam is coming. Huhu..

But take it as a challenge in your life.

I didn’t face hardship every day. I didn’t feel tired everyday. Most of all.. i didn’t feel homesick everyday. Just sometimes.. when the little devil crawling out.

Plus..i learn a lot.. about life, about friendship, about family, about myself, about people, learning to appreciate more, to be more independent, more tolerate, more patience, more thoughtful, more loving, more caring, and macam2 lagi.. ekekeke =P

I think I might be a different person as what I am now if I’m not here. Hehe..

Back to kaktih.. I think I might be a bit difficult to let her go if one day she managed to get an offer to study overseas. Cause I am just afraid.. and worried.. she’s still a little girl that i used to know. Hahaha.. tu baru adek, if anak camne? Jengjengjeng~~